“My wife wants to divorce me.” If a man is saying that and he wants to save his relationship, he certainly has his work cut out for him. When your spouse confesses that they’re unhappy and ready to head out the door it can be overwhelming. Your first reaction may be anger. Shouting accusations of her abandoning the family or telling her that she’s ruining everyone’s life can be tempting. They’re not productive though. Unless you handle this situation in a very specific way, that divorce she’s talking about will soon become an ugly reality.
When a husband says, “My wife wants to divorce me,” his emotions are clearly overflowing. Whenever a person feels overrun they tend to say and do things they regret. What you need to do before you even consider changing her mind is to calm yourself down. Right now, the idea of divorce is just that, an idea. If you rush into attacking her verbally in an attempt to get her to stay, you’ll only be pushing her further and further away. Instead, you need to take a deep breath, see her omission as a sign that things are seriously wrong in your relationship and then get to work fixing them.
If she’s determined to separate, you need to seriously consider allowing that to happen. The problem with putting your foot down and vehemently refusing to even listen to her reasoning is that you’re silencing her needs. She’ll feel insignificant and she’ll believe that you don’t truly love her because you don’t have her best interests at heart. Listen calmly to why she wants to separate and then make a decision based on what’s best for you both. Don’t lose sight of the fact that a separation can actually draw a couple closer to one another again because they realize how much they miss each other when they’re no longer together.
One of the most important steps you should be taking now is listening to your wife. If she reached a point where she felt that divorce was her only option that means that she feels very disconnected from you. You likely haven’t been hearing what she’s been telling you recently and that’s contributed to her feelings.
Make it clear to her that you’re always available should she need to talk with you. Promise her that you’ll allow her to speak without interruption and then follow through with that. She absolutely needs to feel valued and appreciated again and you can begin to aid with that by hearing and absorbing what she’s sharing with you.